Many different thoughts

I tell you one thing, Caden is still sitting in the oven baking and taking his time and boy am i ready to see this precious baby. I went to church today which i thought i was going to go because it was really cold but i felt up to it and i even stayed all three hours. There were several people there i havent seen in a while because i havent been in a month but it went better than i thought. The whole situation im in and the adoption i thought there were going to be several people saying several things or giving their thoughts and announcing certain things but they never said anything. So it made me feel alot better about certain situations and more ready. I know its getting really close to christmas and caden is still in me and im hoping he makes his apperance before then but if not i know josh and heidi will get a great christmas gift and it will be a good one for me to give but also a very hard one. This whole situation is a biter sweet one for me. I really dont know what to expect or how im going to feel at all and im scared about that much. I dont know how its going to be at all and then the period after that ive heard several different opinions and i hope its not to hard for me. I hope i dont get depressed like alot of people say. I already know its going to hard but i hope i can be strong and not get to bad. i guess its just a wait and see process. I was on the way home from church and just thinking about caden leaving the hospital and seeing him leave with josh and heidi i think is going to be the hardest and me even leaving the hospital with him not in my arms is going to be hard. i know he is going to leave the hospital un a very cute outfit. It will be just fine for him because i know today it was 37 degrees and that is WAY cold so now its not hot anymore and he will need long sleeves. I was getting a little worried about a week ago thinking it was going ot be hott all month. I thought yesterday was going to be the day for Caden to come because alot of men(boys) dont like to shop and my mother and i went shopping all day and we were saying he can come out so he can rest instead of shopping but nope he didnt come. Well i know im ready to see caden and there are several others and well and i just hope he comes healthy and ready to explore the world.